When I Became A Mother (With an Orange Chocolate Chip Loaf Epilogue)

When I was little my mother was my sun and moon.

My days began with her calls to consciousness,

And ended with her cooing lullabies.

I spent my afternoons shoving ten-too-many scrunchies in her hair,

Or covering her face with makeup like a Monet.

The price for free reign of my canvas,

Was the occasional back scratch.

I spent my evenings enveloped in the smell of fresh-cut basil,

Boiling pasta,

Butterscotch frosting.

And every time the bowl had been scraped,

I was handed the spoon.

The price for my decadence,

Was the occasional swept floor.

When I became a mother my mother was my textbook.

My days begin with loud voices,

Jarring knocks at the door,

And end with contented exhaustion while I coo the lullabies that sent me to sleep.

I spend my days typing,

Every word,

And working,

Every minute,

To find a precious pocket of time to get into a tickle fight,

Or an impromptu dance party.

(Or just sit and stare at the wonder of the creatures that grow shockingly rapidly before me.)

The price for these stolen moments,

Is the occasional extra yawn.

I spend my evenings recreating the exact smells of basil and boiling pasta,

That never seems quite as perfect.

And stirring butterscotch frosting while on the phone asking,

“Ma, why is it too thick?”

And every time the bowl has been scraped,

I hand over the spoon that used to be mine.

The price for my traditions,

Is the occasional pang of nostalgia.

When I became a mother,

My mother came into clear focus.

Her presence enveloped my heart.

Her tendencies became my epiphanies.

Her insecurities altered my perceptions.

Her ancient desires shifted my values.

Her reasons,

Became my logic.

When I became a mother,

I did not become her.

I was galvanized by her.

Like she were before,

And she was before,

And, with any luck, she will be after.

Orange Chocolate Chip Bread

Makes: 1 loaf

Ingredients

• 1/2 C milk
• 1/3 C sugar
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• 3 C biscuit baking mix
• 1/2 C plain yogurt
• 1/2 C fresh orange juice
• 1 T orange zest
• 1/2 C semi-sweet chocolate chips

Instruments

• Various measuring spoons and cups
• Standard loaf pan
• Large mixing bowl
• Mixin’ spoon
• Juicer

Instructions

1. Preheat your oven to 350 F. Grease a loaf pan and set aside.
2. Stir together the milk, yogurt, sugar, orange juice, zest, and egg in a large bowl. Slowly add the baking mix and spoon stir until fully incorporated. Like most things with biscuit mix, it’s alright if its a tad lumpy – you just want everything glopped together.
3. Fold in the chocolate chips
4. Pour gently into the prepared loaf pan and bake for 45-50 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
5. Let fully cool before slicing.